You’re looking forward to your family get-together, but you could do without the drama. How do you keep harmony in the house, including talking to loved ones who have drastically different viewpoints than yours?
Follow these tips to create a more harmonious and enjoyable gathering for all.
The bigger the gathering, the greater potential for friction.
Chances are your family or friends will venture into discussions about politics, religion, marriage, dating, and other potentially controversial topics. This can be stressful. Remember that you are not obligated to talk about them. Follow these strategies to stay away from conversational landmines. (If you do want to engage, there’s advice later in this blog.)
If someone brings up the topic, gently remind them that there are 11 other months in the year to have the conversation. Today is for celebrating family and the holidays.
Change the subject. Brief a few family members beforehand so that they can do that as well.
Set up a quiet corner or room for those who need to withdraw from the larger gatherings. Use it to relax and recharge.
Children’s quarrels can sometimes set off adults. Make sure there is a teenage cousin to help keep kids safe and entertained or hire a babysitter.
Fun is a great buffer.
It’s hard to get into controversial topics when you’re singing, playing games, or exchanging gifts. Put fun on the agenda and everyone is sure to have a great time.
Sing carols. Put on a talent show. Watch a movie. Enjoy family holiday traditions.
Play games but keep them noncompetitive so everyone can enjoy them.
Host a Secret Santa or White Elephant gift exchange for fun and funny moments.
Supply everyone with funny hats or themed props. Take plenty of photos.
Put on some music and dance.
Set the stage for thoughtful conversation.
Interactions with family and friends are opportunities to stretch your perspective. When you’re ready to discuss one of those controversial topics, do it out of the way of the main gathering. Importantly, you don’t want to create tension or start an argument. Before you discuss something controversial, set up a friendly environment.
Start with topics that reinforce your relationship. Talk about how good it is to see each other. Compliment the food.
Remember that most people’s opinions are shaped by their past experiences, their culture, and their religious beliefs. These shape a person’s opinion more than actual knowledge of the topic.
Before you engage in controversial conversation, tell the person that you care about them. Tell them you appreciate their perspective.
Engage in next-level listening.
If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, you know the importance of really listening to someone. Active listening is an art. So, when you’re ready to engage in a potentially controversial topic, ask, “What do you think of…x, y, z?” Then, don’t say a thing. Simply listen.
Be conscious of your body language. Don’t cross your arms, which can convey a sense of disagreement. Keep your body open, relaxed, and attentive. If sitting, lean forward.
Keep regular eye contact. Do not stare, however; keep it natural.
Use simple gestures to encourage the other person to talk. Use an occasional head nod or “mm-hmm.”
Offer the other person uninterrupted time to talk for a few minutes.
Then, reflect. Summarize what you heard. If you’re off target, it gives the other person a chance to correct you.
Be curious. Ask questions.
You just listened to the other person’s point of view. After you summarize what you’ve heard, ask the questions that popped up in your mind.
Ask open-ended questions rather than ones that require a yes or no.
Stay neutral in your tone and content.
Avoid judgment, opinion, and sarcasm.
Don’t call them names or curse at them.
Don’t be condescending.
Put yourself in the shoes of the other person. Try to understand why they see the world that way.
Assume the other person has good intentions. Make a point of saying that their intentions come from a good place.
Don’t think of the conversation as a win or lose. Leave your ego at the door and avoid putting down the other person’s beliefs as you discuss yours.
Use “I” statements to share your beliefs.
Avoid citing facts and trying to change the other person’s mind.
Personal stories are often more powerful than facts.
Find the places where you agree. For example, “I really think my friend should be able to have healthcare.” You don’t have to get into how that could happen.
Know when it’s time to call it quits. If the conversation can’t get beyond a certain point, that’s a good time to agree to disagree.
Thank them for their time and attention. Offer to revisit the topic in the future.
Make sure the conversation doesn’t take up the bulk of the party. Get back to the fun and make some memories.
Happy holidays from our family to yours.
This article is furnished by California Casualty, providing auto and home insurance to educators, law enforcement officers, firefighters, and nurses. Get a quote at 1.866.704.8614 or www.calcas.com.
Your guests arrive in an hour, and the house is a mess. Don’t worry—you’ve got this. Here’s how to become the perfect party host with these quick and clever cleaning hacks.
Tackle the high-traffic areas.
Don’t waste time on rooms where you won’t have guests. Prioritize the places they will be. These include the surfaces that will be seen or used, which means you can skip the top of the bookcase but not the bathroom counter.
Overall
Sweep floors and vacuum rugs. Pro Tip: Sprinkle rugs with baking soda, wait 15 minutes and vacuum to eliminate odors.
Close doors for rooms where guests should not be.
Empty trash cans and take out the trash.
Make the beds in any room where guests will be, including if you are using a bedroom to keep coats for your guests.
Use damp microfiber cloths to wipe pet fur off furniture.
Bathroom
Clean the toilet and put out extra toilet paper. Pro Tip: Add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to the toilet bowl. It will make your bathroom smell amazing!
Clean the mirrors and fixtures.
Wipe down surfaces and hide personal items like toothbrushes and razors.
Close the shower door or curtain.
Kitchen
Empty and clean the sink. Guests often like to help or will wash their hands there.
Clear the counters of appliances. Put blenders, toasters, and other similar items out of sight.
Shine the faucets and wipe down counters.
Empty the dishwasher so it’s ready to go for a new load.
Line the kitchen trash can with multiple bags so when you remove one, there is a fresh bag ready to go.
Entryway
Remove items that don’t need to be there, from umbrellas to boots and shoes.
Make sure there is a place for guests’ coats even if it ends up that you will take them to a spare room.
Remove any cobwebs from the ceiling and dust any surfaces within easy sight of guests.
Clear the clutter.
Clutter happens during the holiday season but it’s not something you want at your party. Consolidate your clutter so that it’s out of the way. You can deal with it later.
Grab an empty laundry hamper (or two) and use it to collect anything laying around that is not in its place.
Load it up with mail, bags, and anything that doesn’t serve an immediate purpose.
Group similar items in baskets if you can. It’s easy to lose bills or important paperwork when shoving everything together.
Stick a note on the side of the basket so you know generally what’s in there for later.
Stow the basket(s) away in a spare room where guests will not be. The laundry room is often a popular place. Some folks stash items in the trunk of their car.
Set the lighting.
Go ahead and dim the lights. It automatically sets the mood, plus it’s harder to see any messes that may remain.
Candles instantly make the room feel put together. Use flameless candles if you are worried about fire hazards.
Choose scented candles that will complement the food. Choose foodie fragrances such as vanilla, baked goods, and seasonal fruit. Avoid floral scents like rose that can be too much.
Add a string of holiday lights for an even more festive feel. Just keep holiday extension cord safety in mind.
Get everyone involved.
Make cleaning a group activity. Call in friends or family who asked how they can help. Assign them tasks. Play holiday music. Working together is fun and cleaning is fast. You can even make it a holiday tradition.
In no time at all, you’ll be ready to entertain. Happy holidays!
This article is furnished by California Casualty, providing auto and home insurance to educators, law enforcement officers, firefighters, and nurses. Get a quote at 1.866.704.8614 or www.calcas.com.
Ask any teacher. They love getting gifts, but there’s a limit to the number of coffee mugs and candles that any one person can enjoy. We’ve asked teachers what they really want, and they’ve answered. Here’s the definitive guide on the best gifts for teachers this holiday season.
Fun Classroom Supplies
Most teachers spend their own money on classroom supplies, so these are sure to be a big hit. Consider putting together a gift basket with a few items. Package them in a plastic container like a shower caddy that also may be used for organizing supplies for a practical twist.
We love these pens for their inspirational sayings and vibrant colors. But any set of quality pens for grading and notes will work. Don’t forget the Expo markers, too.
Post-it notes come in so many fun shapes and sizes. Not only are they useful for teachers’ organization, but they are also ideal for students sharing ideas in large group activities.
Personalized notes, including those that depict the subject area that teachers teach, can be fun. You can find personalized stamps and stickers, too.
Self-Care Items
Here’s how you can provide thoughtful gifts that promote self-care in the classroom and beyond. These useful items can make a teacher’s life much easier. For higher ticket items, consider going in with a group of parents or the class.
Elevate the teacher’s chair with this ultra-comfortable cushion.
Food & Snacks
Chocolate, baked goods, and gift baskets of food and snacks are always appreciated. Just be aware of any food allergies or dietary restrictions.
Gift Cards
Choose gift cards for the places that teachers shop, such as Target, Amazon Prime, Michaels, or Teachers Pay Teachers. During a busy holiday season, teachers would also appreciate gift cards from Door Dash, Starbucks, Dunkin, grocery stores, gas stations, and local restaurants.
These fun lanyards add some pizzazz to an everyday badge. Find one with your teacher’s subject area or interest.
Personal Notes of Thanks
Handwritten notes by students cost nothing but mean so much. They are among a teacher’s favorite gifts.
What to Avoid
In searching for the perfect gift, you will want to stay away from the following.
Avoid alcohol unless you know the teacher enjoys wine, beer, or spirits.
Let the teacher choose his/her own beauty products from hand creams to perfume/cologne, jewelry, and makeup. These are highly personal choices.
Stay away from apple motif items and desk display items that are essentially “dust collectors.” Chances are your child’s teacher already has more than they need.
Teachers also get a fair number of mugs, candles, and ornaments. They probably don’t need any more.
Do you have other great ideas for teacher gifts? Share them in the comments. See our blog on teacher stocking stuffers and how to thank a teacher for some more great ideas.
This article is furnished by California Casualty, providing auto and home insurance to educators, law enforcement officers, firefighters, and nurses. Get a quote at 1.866.704.8614 or www.calcas.com.
If the winter months get you down, you’re not alone. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) affects millions of people, and it’s more than just the winter blues. It can affect your mental and physical health.
Here’s what you need to know about SAD, including how to recognize signs and symptoms, some available treatments, and how to help those around you if you think they suffer from this condition.
What is SAD?
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression. It is more than feeling sad or unhappy, and it is not a condition that can be wished away. Symptoms start in the late fall and continue into the winter months. They are most severe during December, January, and February. Generally, SAD resolves itself during the light-filled days of spring. (There also is a form of summer SAD, thought to be caused by the heat, humidity, and allergies. Summer SAD is much less common.) SAD usually starts in adulthood. It is rare among people who are under age 20. It is more common among women than men.
What causes SAD?
The exact cause is not known, but it is thought that SAD is linked to reduced exposure to sunlight. Light stimulates the hormone, serotonin, in our brain which makes us feel happy. Increased darkness on the other hand prompts the brain to make more melatonin, causing sleepiness and reduced energy.
What are the signs of SAD?
SAD can affect how you feel, think, and behave. The symptoms are persistent and can be severe. While not every person experiences all the symptoms, here are some common ones for winter SAD.
Losing interest in activities: If the activities that usually interest you lose their appeal, that’s a symptom of a low mood or depression.
Low energy and sluggishness: You may find it difficult to muster the energy to do the most basic tasks. You might experience extreme fatigue.
Sleeping too much: You find yourself sleeping more than usual, and you have difficulty waking up. You may experience daytime drowsiness.
Appetite changes: You crave the mood and energy boosting comfort of carbs. However, overloading on carbs can lead to weight gain.
Difficulty concentrating: You may be unable to focus and have trouble thinking clearly.
Negative thinking: You may feel hopeless, worthless, or even suicidal. You might be anxious and irritable.
What are options for treatment?
Without treatment, SAD can last months. However, most people who seek help can see improvement in a matter of weeks. The symptoms of SAD may look like other mental health conditions, so it’s important to get a diagnosis. A doctor or mental health professional can diagnose SAD and offer options for treatment. Treatments may include:
Light therapy: This involves sitting in front of a special light in a lightbox or panel for a specific amount of time each day.
Sunlight exposure: Spending more time outside during daylight hours can help. Consider a daily walk or outdoor exercise.
Psychotherapy: Talk therapy can help you to understand SAD and manage its symptoms from anxiety to depression.
Medications: ln some cases, antidepressants may be prescribed to correct the chemical imbalance caused by SAD.
Here are some ways to help prevent SAD.
You can take steps to prepare for winter SAD, which may help to reduce its effects.
It may be tempting to go into hibernation mode when it starts to become dark early. However, that can perpetuate the feelings of depression. Instead, plan activities to stay social. This will help to boost your mood.
Exercise regularly. If you can exercise in the sunlight, that’s a double boost.
Eat a healthy balanced diet. If you’re tempted by carbs for a quick energy boost, go for complex carbohydrates instead. For example, choose whole grain breads and fruits over sweets and chips.
Maintain a consistent sleep routine. Avoid excessive amounts of caffeine and alcohol, especially before bed.
Finally, seek professional help if your symptoms persist. SAD is treatable, and fortunately, does not last forever.
This article is furnished by California Casualty, providing auto and home insurance to educators, law enforcement officers, firefighters, and nurses. Get a quote at 1.866.704.8614 or www.calcas.com.
