As we reflect on the horrific events of 9/11, it’s important we address the impact it still has on first responders and their families. In this guest post, Lori Mercer from FireFighterWife.com shares inspirational ideas on dealing with the fear that comes from loving someone with such a dangerous job.
So many women tell me that every time they kiss their husband goodbye on his way out the door they think to themselves “This could be the last time I see him.”
I wonder how many of the fire wives thought that on the morning of September 11, 2001?
But an even better question, is I wonder how many of those lost in the tower even thought that in the past week before 9.11? A rare few if they were lucky were able to give a sufficient final goodbye “just in case”.
Most people have a sense of the fickle fate that could take any of our lives at any moment. Car accidents. Heart Attacks. Natural Disasters. But most people don’t have a constant reminder of the fragility of life living in their house leaving their firefighter paraphernalia lying around. The navy blue shirts. The coffee mugs. The maltese cross decals on the cars. The Last Will and Testament and important details for a Line of Duty Death tucked away in the fire safe.
Every fire wife has thought about her husband dying on duty. She’s rehearsed the phone call or the knock on the door all the way thru the tears, the funeral and life without him. I’ve personally found myself lost in thought when I’m driving, waiting for him to call me back after that last interrupted call “Working fire. Gotta go! Love you.” Click. It’s been 3 hours. Surely they are back by now. Somewhere those thoughts of “I’m sure they are just busy cleaning up. Or maybe his cell phone isn’t on him” turn to thoughts of what if. What if something happened to him? And before you know it tears are streaming down your face as you’re visualizing his eulogy given by his partner while you hug the kids tightly in the front row.
It’s so real. Or I should say, we can make things so real in our minds. And for some women, those thoughts grip them in ferocious fears that paralyze them, unable to act. Unable to go cook dinner, remember the next task or fall asleep. Even if you aren’t paralyzed in fear you may still be carrying with you that worry, gnawing in your gut and taking up precious space in your thoughts.
She’s trapped by those nasty emotions waiting for a stinking return phone call that 9,999 out of 10,000 times is going assure her that mental trap was just a false alarm.
And now we approach another anniversary of September 11th and the reminders get more frequent, more graphic, more lump-forming-in-my-throat-inducing.
Now I’m not just referring to fire wives. I think every American growing up in this generation has a strong emotional reaction to the events of 9.11. How could you not? It’s such a display of pure evil and loss of innocent lives. Perhaps even some firefighters react more strongly as they think of friends, colleagues, brothers and sisters who were killed on that day. And remind themselves it’s a promise they made and it could happen to them as well.
How do you beat this mental battle? Because if you don’t, they might as well keep flying planes into buildings because you are still fearfully impacted and that’s exactly what they wanted to happen. A little strong for you? Don’t underestimate the impact of your thoughts. You change your thoughts you change your life.
A few tips to battle the mental monsters of fear and worry especially surrounding September 11th
#1 You shouldn’t be in denial that firefighting is a dangerous profession. Duh. De Nial is just De River in Egypt. Sorry if that offends you to make light of that but some fire families really need to get their head out of the sand and do some pre-planning. Just in case. Cross that off the list and stop worrying about it.
#2 September 11th is a time to remember. To never forget, right? Think about what parts you aren’t forgetting. We want to honor the lives lost and it evokes a whole lot of emotions, especially for those personally impacted. Too many widows and orphans were made on that day. Far too many. I sincerely from the bottom of my heart mourn right alongside them. But at the same time, it does bother me when there is too much focus on death and not enough focus on the life. The good. The miracles surrounding 9.11. And I am pretty certain that those angels watching up in heaven understand our pain but wouldn’t want us to linger and get stuck there in a bad mental pit. Never forget all the good. Never forget our nation pulling together in support. Never forget those stories of heroes. But go ahead and forget all those images that keep you locked to the TV paralyzed in grief and inaction. We didn’t recover from 9.11 by replaying that scene over and over again. We acted. Which leads me to #3.
#3 Take action. I mean physically do something. Even just standing up and walking across a room or drinking a glass of water can change the chemical make up in our brains and help dispel negative emotions. But for September 11th, I’d actually encourage you to do something bigger. Remember the outpouring of support after 9.11? All the people that went to help. All the charities. All the acts of service. With that tragic event corresponding with us living in a more connected world, the opportunities to find a way to help are endless. If 9.11 has you a little extra emotional, then you need to find a way to occupy your mind with other activities instead. Over at FirefighterWife.com we are participating in the National Day of Service having our first ever 9.11 24 Hours of Service event to do just that. Anyone can participate by signing up at FirefighterWife.com/9-11 It’s our way of honoring those lost while leaving the world a little better at the end of the day.
#4 Find some tools to help you work through these emotions. Whether they are stealing minutes or days from your life, we can all benefit from on-going learning and self-improvement. Journal your thoughts. Read books. Talk to a counselor or a friend. Eliminate bad influences, the Debbie Downers in your life. Find a way to change stressful situations. Join a group for support and friendship.
As the leader of the largest online community of fire wives, I see so many women just spend too much time losing out on life because they are living in the “what if?”. It’s time to live in the “What next?” and do more.
Lori Mercer is the Chief Fire Wife, writer and speaker at FirefighterWife.com. She is the mother of 4 and very blessed to be happily married to her firefighter after many challenging years where she hated the firehouse and all its influence on him. Now she is an advocate for firefighter marriages and encouraging the fire wife community to drop the girl drama and work together for support and friendship.
A Guest Post By Melinda Crean https://topnotchteaching.com/
Key Words: classroom games, games to play in the classroom, back to school, back to school games
Do you want to learn some spectacular new classroom games that will ease those back to school classroom jitters?
It’s that time of year again when many of us fearless teachers are heading back for a new school year. It’s an exciting time for both the kids and the teachers, but it can also be a little scary and as a teacher you may feel somewhat apprehensive.
I’ve found that one way you can help ease those worries and nerves is to play regular classroom games with your students.
Playing games is a really great way for your students to get to know each other and learn about social behaviors. Games also assist in teaching a number of other important skills, such as:
Playing fairly;
Controlling body language;
Getting along;
Handling winning and losing;
Taking risks;
Co-operating with others; and
Demonstrating self-control.
Games can also be quite strategic, which helps to develop mathematical thinking, planning ahead, predicting and hypothesizing.
I’ve found that by using games regularly in the classroom it helps to develop positive relationships between students and with the teacher. So without further ado…..here are my top 3 sensational back to school classroom games.
1. Wink Murder
Skill focus: controlling body language, co-operating with others, taking risks and good to use as a whole class reward.
You will need: A large open space (indoors) for the whole class to sit in a circle.
The game:
This game can be played in small groups of 4 or more students, but I find it works best with the whole class.
Get your students to sit in a large circle.
Select one person to be the ‘guesser’. Send that person outside the room so that a ‘murderer’ can be selected.
Select one student to be the ‘murderer’.
The ‘guesser’ comes back to the room and sits/stands in the middle of the circle.
The murderer tries to kill all the other players in the circle by winking at them without being observed by the ‘guesser’.
If a player is winked at, then they must wait 10 seconds and then fall down dead.
The ‘guesser’ can say the name of a student if they think they’re the ‘murderer’.
The game ends when all the players have been murdered and only the ‘murderer’ remains, or if the ‘guesser’ correctly identifies the ‘murderer.’
Continue the game by selecting a new ‘murderer’ and ‘guesser’.
2. Order In The Court
Skill focus: co-operating with others and demonstrating self-control.
You will need: A large open space (indoors) for the whole class to sit in a circle.
The game:
Get your students to sit in a large circle.
Students say the below rhyme altogether while tapping their fists on their thighs to keep the beat.
Order in the court
The judge is eating beans
His wife is in the bathtub
Counting submarines
The teacher or a selected student then needs to offer a challenge to another student. For example, after the rhyme is said, the students still keep tapping their thighs and the teacher will say “5 boy’s names”, the students’ then copy the teacher “5 boys’ names”. When the students have copied, the teacher will say a student’s name “Jane”, the students then copy the teacher, “Jane”.
Then Jane needs to say 5 boys’ names. After each name she says, the whole class copies.
If Jane misses a name or can’t think of any answers, then the challenge is passed to another student.
If Jane is successful at the challenge then she can select the next student for the new challenge.
The whole time students are still tapping their thighs with their fists to keep the beat.
After the challenge is successful the students as a whole say the rhyme again. The teacher then selects a new challenge and a new student.
Some example challenges could include: boys/girls names, towns near where you live, countries, colors, months in the year, types of cars etc.
You can change how many you ask to be named to suit the age of your students.
3. Spoons
Skill focus: handling winning and losing, playing fairly and controlling body language.
You will need: 2 packs of cards for each group of students, spoons for each group of students (1 less spoon than the number of players in a group), space for students to sit in a small circle.
The game:
This game is best played in small groups of students, between 4 – 8 players.
Students sit in a circle.
Place the spoons in a circle in the middle of the group. There should be one less spoon than players.
One person is selected as the dealer. They shuffle the cards and have them face down in a pile next to them.
The dealer gives each student one card from the pile. The student must remember what card they have and then keep the card face down in front of them so no other student can see what card they have.
The dealer then takes one card at a time and looks at it. They are trying to find a card that matches the card they have face down in front of them. The card does not need to match suit, but must be of the same value. E.g. two queen’s, or two eight’s etc.
When the dealer has looked at the card, and if it does not match their card, they then put it face down in front of the person next to them (clockwise) in the circle. That person then looks at the card and the card continues around the circle if it does not match.
The dealer continues taking cards from the pile, looks at them and if they don’t match passes to the next player.
If a player is given a card that matches the card face down in front of them, they add this card to the other card. They then take a spoon from the pile in the middle of the circle and add it with their cards. They try to do this quietly so they don’t notify the other students.
If another student sees that a spoon has been taken, then they are able to take a spoon and add to their pile.
The game keeps going with students trying to match cards until all the spoons have been taken from the middle.
The person that does not have a spoon is the loser of the round.
The game can start again for another round, with a new dealer.
This game is lots of fun and can get very rowdy. It moves very quickly with lots of cards moving around the circle and spoons being taken and moved.
I hope you enjoyed learning some groovy new classroom games and have fun using them with your students. If you’re after some more game ideas then have a read of 6 Classroom Games You Can Use To Re-Energize Your Students. (https://topnotchteaching.com/time-saving-tips/classroom-games-to-re-energize/)
As the weather starts to change once again, we look towards the fall season. This means it is important to remember to prepare your house and family accordingly for the season change. Preparing for fall can help save money, and protect your family and home. Check out these tips about preparing your home both inside and out, along with family (including pets).
Inside the house
Service your furnace / air conditioner. Be sure to call your local heating and cooling company to service and make sure everything is working properly. Double check furnace for any leaks. This will save headaches and money later when the temperatures drop.
Check to make sure your smoke detectors and carbon monoxide monitors are properly working. It’s important to know the alarms work, and that fresh batteries have been installed. Replace any fire extinguishers that have expired with new ones throughout the home.
If you keep emergency kits, make sure they are full and stocked with small medical items, water, flashlight with fresh batteries, and any supplies needed. There should be enough to last you and the family about a week.
Stock up on winter supplies. If you live in a climate where it snows frequently or ices, stock up on shovels, ice scrapers, sidewalk salts, etc. If your climate features heavy rain or hurricanes, make sure you have plenty of tarps, bottled water, duct tape, etc.
Use caution with space heaters and fireplaces. Place a fireplace screen in front of fire to prevent sparks from flying out. Never leave a burning fire unattended, and make sure the fire is out before going to bed. If your space heater requires ventilation, make sure it vents to the outdoors. Never use a stove or oven to heat home. Always allow three feet of empty area around the space heaters.
Outside the home
Reconsider burning the big pile of leaves. Check with your city’s regulations. It may be illegal to burn leaves. Burning leaves produce dangerous and cancer-causing chemicals according to the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency). If you are going to burn the leaves, wear a protective mask. Make sure that you are far away from the house or any other structures. Double check the weather forecast for the day for windy activity.
Watch for power lines if trimming trees in the yard. Look and survey your yard area for power lines hanging above. Notice the placement of your ladder and trimming tools.
Use caution while using a ladder. If you have to clean leaves out of the gutter, remember to have on appropriate footwear to avoid getting caught in between steps. Watch the steps for water or moisture to avoid slipping and falling. Make sure the ladder is secure and placed before climbing.
Check all of the outdoor lighting fixtures. Make sure they all are working properly and secure. Outdoor lights are also effective deterrents for crime.
When you’re cleaning up your yard, prevent injuries by standing straight and upright while raking leaves. Pull from your arms and legs, lift bags with bent knees using your legs, not your back, for support. If you’re using a leaf blower, wear appropriate clothing, eye protection, and tennis shoes or boots to prevent injury.
Family
Go get a flu shot. There are still possibilities of getting sick after receiving the shot, but it will protect you from severe complications.
Not just for employees returning to work, wash your hands. Use hot water, plenty of soap, and scrub for at least 30 seconds.
Bundle up if it is cold. Wear a jacket and dress accordingly.
Pets. If your furry friend lives outside, feed them more in the cooler times to help them retain body heat.
Keep an emergency kit in your car. If you haven’t already, make up an emergency kit and keep in your trunk. Some are in stores already made-up. To make your own, include a flashlight with fresh batteries, first-aid kit, jumper cables, windshield washer fluid, and basic tools.
Voting is now closed! You may still share the heroes’ pages, but votes will not count. Congratulations to Officer Mansfield, he is our August Hero of the Month! Stay tuned as we announce the finalists for September!
How to vote: Read the stories of each hero (see the links below). Then, simply share the page of your favorite hero on Facebook, Twitter, or Linkedin. At the bottom of each page, you’ll see “Sharing is Caring” and an arrow pointing to the buttons that will share the page.
We’ll announce the winners on September 2nd, so get to voting!
Voting is now closed! You may still share the heroes’ pages, but votes will not count. Congratulations to Officer Mansfield, he is our August Hero of the Month! Stay tuned as we announce the finalists for September!
Michael knew he wanted to be a firefighter from a young age. His family says he has always had the compassion and drive to help people. Michael got his start around the fire community when he served as a Police, Fire and EMT dispatcher. He used the experience to start learning about firefighting. From there, Michael joined the Fort Smith Fire Department, where he served for 11 years.
While working for the fire department in July 2009, Michael got a call that changed his life. He was called to a two-story building on fire-with two people trapped inside. Michael immediately rushed into the burning building to rescue both men. One man managed to escape, but the other was unconscious due to smoke inhalation.
Michael was able to pull the man from the burning building. He was rushed to the hospital, and recovered after a few weeks. During the rescue, Michael sustained severe shoulder injuries, leading to multiple surgeries and eventual retirement. He then went on to start a company with his wife.
As we reflect on the horrific events of 9/11, it’s important we address the impact it still has on first responders and their families. In this guest post, Lori Mercer from FireFighterWife.com shares inspirational ideas on dealing with the fear that comes from loving someone with such a dangerous job.