This Guest Blog post by Suddenly Cop Wife blogger, Stella, is the featured article in our Law Enforcement News Resource: The Blue Bulletin. To sign up to receive the Blue Bulletin in your inbox once a month, click here!
Holly Days | Guest Blog by Stella of Suddenly Cop Wife
I’m a Holiday Person. I love them all, especially Christmas, but I have been known to go a little overboard for random Holidays such as Arbor Day. (You mean you don’t have a Tree Party?) My husband—when he likes me—calls me his little Elf. When he’s annoyed, well…different story for a different time.
Christmas is especially important to me because it is jam-packed with so many memories; some good, some not so good. When I was really young, I had the most fabulous Christmases with my grandparents making the Season bright, and the extended family was all together, carrying on the same traditions year after year. I loved everything from the dawn of Thanksgiving Day to sunset on New Year’s Day: the sights, the smells, the music, the food, the decorations…I could go on, but you get the idea.
Then came a very dark period in my life. My mother got remarried, and the man she was married to was an abusive drug addict. My Christmases turned awful; we were no longer allowed to go see my grandparents, and we were always teetering on the edge of poverty, so money was strictly for survival, not to be used for silly things like tinsel and gifts.
I vowed, each year as I recalled the way Christmas could be, I swore to myself, God, and anyone who would listen, that one day I would make Christmas special again. For me. For my future husband. For whoever darkened our door.
I’ve kept my promise. Since I’ve been on my own, I’ve recreated my Grandmother’s gift of an amazing Christmastime as best I could. When I married my husband, I practically drowned him with my traditions. I was determined to make up for all that I had lost; and reclaim the joy I had once known.
Little did I know that my husband would one day choose to become a Cop. For those of you who don’t already know, I write a Blog called Suddenly Cop Wife because one day (or so it seemed) my husband suddenly decided to become a Cop. With that came big changes in our everyday lives and, of course, huge changes to our Holiday festivities.
Since Rocco became a cop, we have had Thanksgiving the day before, the day after, and even the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. This year I found myself alone on Thanksgiving Day, prepping for our celebration on Friday.
As so many of us know, making a great Holiday is a lot of work. Knee-deep in the cleaning, cooking, and setting up, I began wondering at some point if all the work was even worth my while. For most people, the day after Thanksgiving means the kickoff of Christmas; Black Friday shopping for some, a day at home with families for others, catching up on things like reading the paper or watching a football game. For us, it’s Thanksgiving.
My husband got a horrible rotation this year. It’s nothing he’s done and it has absolutely nothing to do with seniority. The NYPD puts people in different Squads, and the Squads rotate the way of the calendar, and this year the calendar is not on our side. He will have to work Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day.
I would be lying if I told you that I was not severely disappointed.
I am. There’s a small part of me that would like to throw my hands up in the air and say screw it, why bother? I am tired of trying to recreate Christmas Eve Dinner on December 29th, or trying like hell to stay awake when he finally rolls through the door at 4:00 AM on New Year’s Eve which has already turned to Day.
When I feel that way, I think of my friends who have husbands in the Military and will end up doing Christmas sometime in July. After I get done feeling sorry for myself, I realize I am lucky. I am able, albeit on a different day, to keep our traditions alive and to bind us together making new ones. It’s important to keep trying, because marriage is about trying a little more each and every day.
I’m also lucky because I have my Holidays back. Maybe they’re celebrated on a different day, but they’re all mine, and my Cop’s. They are what they are, and right now they’re worth fighting for…even if Easter is in June.
I wish you all the Happiest Holidays and some time alone with your Police Officer. May they be safe and may your days be filled with Peace. Oh, and hug your cop.
Trust me…it makes a difference.
About Stella NYC
Suddenly Cop Wife is authored by the wife of a Police Officer, a blogger who writes under the name ‘Stella New York.’ Stella is a fitness instructor and personal trainer. She is also the loving and supporting wife of a NYPD officer. When Stella isn’t busy working, supporting her husband, and blogging about their experiences, she also hosts a live show all about being a law enforcement wife called ‘Suddenly Cop Wife LIVE!’ Aside from being a great resource for LEOs and their families, Suddenly Cop Wife is honest. It’s a great blog for LEO families that want to hear from someone that shares their struggles, and isn’t afraid to talk about them.
To read our Q&A with Stella NYC, click here.